Ending Bickering With Praise

How to go from this

to this

Do your children ever bicker?

Okay, you may put your hands down — it was a rhetorical question. All children bicker.  I have even heard children bicker to themselves. Bicker, bicker, bicker.  And usually what they complain about really isn’t that big of an issue at all; they just have to release their anxious energy somehow.

A couple of years ago I drove my kids around town and here’s what I heard from the back seat: “Stop it.”  “No, YOU stop!”  “That’s mine.”  “OUCH!  Mooooom – she pulled my hair!”

With hands on the steering wheel and eyes on the road, there wasn’t anything I could use to stop the arguing except my words.  And that’s when we started the “Praise You” Game.

I say, “You know what I like about  (child’s name)?”  And like magic, her mouth closes and her ears open.  After sharing some of her great attributes, I ask the other child what she likes about her.  Then we share what we like about the second child.  By the end, without fail (so far) everyone is friends again and feeling really good about themselves and each other.

Next time you hear your children getting on each others’ nerves, try it out — it may work.                        But if it doesn’t, don’t come bickering to me.